Tuesday, May 30, 2017


Yeeep my writing has slowed down once again. Honestly, I am dealing with more health issues. Basically I have been having a period three times a month - Additionally, I bleed every time I do some sort of form of physical exercise. Not too bad, right? Okay, now I've had a period for a month straight. I have been given birth control to help but so far it has done nothing. Trying so hard to stay positive but just insanely hard while dealing with constant setbacks. I haven't given up yet and I don't want to. I feel dead tired though, lol. I literally have passed out for the last 4 days. Today so far has been the longest I've been awake. I'm not sure what else to say on here. 

Tuesday, May 9, 2017


Suppose to vent instead of internalizing. So here we go. I was outside taking a video of cats who always follow me. A cop parks down the street and flags me over. And asked if I know anybody named Jerrry.  I was like uhhh I don't think so. Then he asked if I lived here. I said yeah. Then he asked if my parents own a gun.  I said yea again.  He tells me to get in the back of his car.
Then he asked me if anybody in my family has been suicidal before. I was like....yeah. Right after I see my brother walk out of the house. He asked do you know who that is. I replied yeah that's my brother Jeremy.Then he radios in and said I got the sister in the back grab him. Five cops out of nowhere swarm my brother. He said he got a call in this area from somebody saying they were gonna kill themselves with their parents gun. Yeah, that's how my day went yesterday. ~__~ 

Sunday, May 7, 2017


My brother was like YOU HAVEN'T  HARDLY DONE ANYTHING WITH THIS. ~_~ Thus here I am. I really don't enjoy talking about myself in general so this is a bit weird. Oh well - let's give it a go, shall we? 

My latest chapter is almost done. I got about 1.5k words left to go. I started writing my chapters in a steam software program called Nimble Writer. Honestly, I got tired of trying all these free offices and other word documents. Simply they just suck, lol. Plus you can save everything to the cloud. I can't tell you how many times I've panicked over my computer messing up and losing my progress. 

What else, uh...? I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder this year, which they think it's mostly related to PTSD. Then Acanthosis Nigricans, Psoriasis. Fortunately, I almost have both of them fixed. It's been really a trial and error. I also got two more issues I need to get checked out too.  As much as my mental health is improving. I feel like everything else is deteriorating all at once. I guess things could be worse? Although I am constantly telling myself that while everything keeps piling up. XD 

I do miss Blazerine. Lol, I'm throwing a lot of random thoughts on here. Since I do basically use myself as a concept for her. I think there's a lot of new things I can bring to the table. Mostly experiences. For instance, when my hair got burnt. I made Blazerine get her hair chopped off, lol. I think it brings a bit of realism to the story. Or perhaps character development? Either way, it's been a motivation to get more progress done so I can get back to my favorites. I've come up with a lot of idea's for Fenix and Lyrist specifically. 

Most of the poetry and song lyrics I create, stem off my characters. I do that usually when I get stuck on a chapter. I try my best to connect with them in order to help decide what to do next. Like I've said in the past. "I know the beginning and ending to my story, but I don't know how to get there. Fortunately, my characters will show me the way." Sometimes it just takes a little longer. ;) And oddly enough I get most of my idea's in the shower. 

Annd I just made this https://ask.fm/Blazerine